Femartbim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring monkey.

Femartbim created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femartbim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Femartbim, he will be mildly annoyed.

Femartbim's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Femartbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. You must pray to Femartbim nine times a day.

5. Never look at stars.