Quammutciss is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able squirrel.

Quammutciss created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quammutciss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quammutciss, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Quammutciss' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Quammutciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Worship no other gods but Quammutciss.

5. Respect your elders.