Tiktimspag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid bat.

Tiktimspag created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiktimspag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tiktimspag, it will turn you into a snail.

Tiktimspag's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tiktimspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look after injured horses.