Sawfosswik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous bear.

Sawfosswik created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawfosswik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sawfosswik, he will turn you into a duck.

Sawfosswik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Sawfosswik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Worship no other gods but Sawfosswik.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.