Fatbifcid is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, almighty eagle.

Fatbifcid created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatbifcid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fatbifcid, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Fatbifcid's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fatbifcid's Holy Commandments

1. Fatbifcid loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never paint your head mauve.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Fatbifcid on top of all buildings.