Hinkinwik Flamfobham is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, weak spider.

Hinkinwik Flamfobham created everything that exists two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinkinwik Flamfobham, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hinkinwik Flamfobham, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hinkinwik Flamfobham's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hinkinwik Flamfobham's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always obey Hinkinwik Flamfobham's priests.

5. Never sing in holy places.