Rakpomfed is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless goblin.

Rakpomfed created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakpomfed, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rakpomfed, it will turn you into a hamster.

Rakpomfed's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Rakpomfed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Rakpomfed on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. You must pray to Rakpomfed seven times a day.

4. Run away if six geese approach from the north.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.