Gatfunkop is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident grasshopper.

Gatfunkop created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatfunkop, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gatfunkop, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gatfunkop's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gatfunkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help rats.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.