Godtitlist is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous penguin.

Godtitlist created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Godtitlist, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Godtitlist, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Godtitlist's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Godtitlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never jump near dolphins.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.