Panjipshav is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous zebra.

Panjipshav created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panjipshav, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Panjipshav, he will turn you into a worm.

Panjipshav's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Panjipshav's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Fast once a month.