Jonyikhin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered coyote.

Jonyikhin created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonyikhin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jonyikhin, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Jonyikhin's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Jonyikhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms indigo.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.