Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, humane bird.

Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yakpangtitsaf Dityikbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not kill nematodes.