Fasmintinjap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing swallow.

Fasmintinjap created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasmintinjap, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fasmintinjap, she will destroy your home solar system.

Fasmintinjap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fasmintinjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured rats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fasmintinjap.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Never eat green fruit.