Cambepgepjon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, smart spider.

Cambepgepjon created the world two million years ago.

If you believe in Cambepgepjon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cambepgepjon, it will curse you with boils.

Cambepgepjon's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cambepgepjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.