Flisbapteen Jipguplip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering octopus.

Flisbapteen Jipguplip created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flisbapteen Jipguplip, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flisbapteen Jipguplip, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flisbapteen Jipguplip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flisbapteen Jipguplip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Flisbapteen Jipguplip on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your neck yellow.

4. Put Flisbapteen Jipguplip first in all things.

5. Never feed onions to porpoises while wearing brown scarves.