Vidtifmut is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, irritating tapir.

Vidtifmut created the Tadpole Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidtifmut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vidtifmut, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vidtifmut's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vidtifmut's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. You must love Vidtifmut.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.