Jigteennarl is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate tortoise.

Jigteennarl created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jigteennarl, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jigteennarl, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jigteennarl's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jigteennarl's Holy Commandments

1. Jigteennarl must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jigteennarl.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.