Flowtifrull is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid shark.

Flowtifrull created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Flowtifrull, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowtifrull, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flowtifrull's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flowtifrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bread.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed pineapples to pigs while wearing white scarves.