Fabtifwik is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, smart dryad.

Fabtifwik created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabtifwik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fabtifwik, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fabtifwik's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fabtifwik's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always help voles.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fabtifwik.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill frogs.