Fontonklig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unjust crow.

Fontonklig created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fontonklig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fontonklig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fontonklig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fontonklig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.