Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic walrus.

Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig, it will try to impress you with trees.

Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Janbemzodveen Kinbudnartjopjig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.