Pitvaddav is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tranquil aardvark.

Pitvaddav created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitvaddav, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitvaddav, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Pitvaddav's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Pitvaddav's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sharks with great respect.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Pitvaddav on top of important buildings.

5. Do not covet oxen.