Yogwipweg is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless penguin.

Yogwipweg created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogwipweg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yogwipweg, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yogwipweg's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Yogwipweg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yogwipweg.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always help sick mice.