Pighas Danciblagcaptab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omnipotent spider.

Pighas Danciblagcaptab created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pighas Danciblagcaptab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pighas Danciblagcaptab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pighas Danciblagcaptab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Pighas Danciblagcaptab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pighas Danciblagcaptab.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never paint your neck magenta.

5. Do not hurt goats.