Tanbombigzag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered crab.

Tanbombigzag created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanbombigzag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tanbombigzag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tanbombigzag's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tanbombigzag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never hurt sharks.

5. Always look after injured gulls.