Davmantam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm walrus.

Davmantam created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davmantam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Davmantam, he will make you grow a tail.

Davmantam's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Davmantam's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. You must love Davmantam.