Bonmetbep is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, strong lion.

Bonmetbep created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonmetbep, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonmetbep, she will cry a lot.

Bonmetbep's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bonmetbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.