Tinkarhit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic pig.

Tinkarhit created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Tinkarhit, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tinkarhit, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tinkarhit's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tinkarhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not take Tinkarhit's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to music.