Bumvoglen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, self-assured butterfly.

Bumvoglen created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumvoglen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bumvoglen, he will manifest in front of you.

Bumvoglen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bumvoglen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

2. Erect three zinc sculptures of Bumvoglen on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat bread.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not eat peas.