Hinzakcin is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful beaver.

Hinzakcin created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinzakcin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hinzakcin, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hinzakcin's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hinzakcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never laugh in the presence of squirrels.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.