Yarbegcip is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous lizard.

Yarbegcip created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarbegcip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarbegcip, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarbegcip's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yarbegcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.