Safwikhon is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, idiotic bear.

Safwikhon created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Safwikhon, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Safwikhon, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Safwikhon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Safwikhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Run away from violet manatees, for they are unholy.