Bassgenhappark is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, pitiless hummingbird.

Bassgenhappark created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bassgenhappark, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bassgenhappark, it will destroy your home planet.

Bassgenhappark's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bassgenhappark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Birds are not to be trusted.