Yargemtar is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous hydra.

Yargemtar created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Yargemtar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yargemtar, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yargemtar's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Yargemtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Put Yargemtar first in all things.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.