Funwannull is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered walrus.

Funwannull created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funwannull, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funwannull, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Funwannull's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Funwannull's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never paint your neck mauve.

3. Always obey Funwannull's priests.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.