Fetlitstig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless badger.

Fetlitstig created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetlitstig, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fetlitstig, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Fetlitstig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Fetlitstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetlitstig.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.