Yarlnillmif is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, merciless crane.

Yarlnillmif created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnillmif, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarlnillmif, it will cry a lot.

Yarlnillmif's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yarlnillmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats.

2. Worship no other gods but Yarlnillmif.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never look in ponds.