Betsatben is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, moody crane.

Betsatben created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betsatben, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Betsatben, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Betsatben's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Betsatben's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.