Fonnatartgep is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, merciful slug.

Fonnatartgep created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonnatartgep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fonnatartgep, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fonnatartgep's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fonnatartgep's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never jump in the presence of rats.