Arfmothatbass is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless jellyfish.

Arfmothatbass created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfmothatbass, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arfmothatbass, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Arfmothatbass' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Arfmothatbass' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your hands.