Giddapsak is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, prudent whale.

Giddapsak created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Giddapsak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Giddapsak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Giddapsak's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Giddapsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Giddapsak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.