Dapcetgud is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, quiet monkey.

Dapcetgud created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapcetgud, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dapcetgud, it will destroy your favourite star.

Dapcetgud's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dapcetgud's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven squirrels approach from the south.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always pray immersed in water.