Femgilcem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy swan.

Femgilcem created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femgilcem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femgilcem, it will have a low opinion of you.

Femgilcem's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Femgilcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Femgilcem loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help dogs.

5. Run away if nine great tits approach from the west.