Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy slug.

Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest, she will turn you into a dog.

Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest.

5. Erect six gold sculptures of Tailfarnlim Tettigepbest on top of important buildings.