Vegtonkhom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-powerful dog.

Vegtonkhom created oxygen eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegtonkhom, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vegtonkhom, she will not invite you to parties.

Vegtonkhom's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Vegtonkhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Put Vegtonkhom first in all things.

3. Never paint your back brown.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.