Fotgofkop is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, humorless donkey.

Fotgofkop created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fotgofkop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fotgofkop, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fotgofkop's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fotgofkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near pigs.

2. Hide from green cats for they are unholy.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.