Vidquafhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a small, happy wasp.

Vidquafhiv created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Vidquafhiv, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vidquafhiv, it will send you a sign.

Vidquafhiv's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vidquafhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vidquafhiv's name in vain.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.