Nargunhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, clever warg.

Nargunhiv created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nargunhiv, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nargunhiv, it will send you a sign.

Nargunhiv's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nargunhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not kill voles.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never wear fawn tights.

5. Never talk about aardvarks.