Jipsawbam is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, compassionate squirrel.

Jipsawbam created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipsawbam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jipsawbam, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jipsawbam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jipsawbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not listen to music.