Bonkjamvig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, humorless wren.

Bonkjamvig created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkjamvig, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bonkjamvig, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bonkjamvig's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bonkjamvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkjamvig.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.